Friday, May 24, 2013

Leaving behind my Family

       Soon i'll have to face moving out, getting a job and doing everything by myself. I don't want to move away from them but i know i can't live there forever with my mom, I feel like i'll just have to get it over with as soon as i can, and hold back all fears i have, I'm scared of not being there for my little brother and sister. Not having my mom to talk to or watch movies with at night is going to suck to, for the most part i'm close with my mom. We might fight a lot, but she's still my best friend.
            Watching my sister move out basically at 15 tore me apart more then i would ever tell her i was only 12 and she was my best friend when we were younger we were inseparable, I remember everyone asking if we were twins and then out of nowhere she starts to act different and she has a new boyfriend she spends all her time with. I'm sitting at home alone everyday in my room, my mom spent all her time with the younger kids.
            I remember wanting my sister to be home again I never seen her, she finally moved back in two years later then found out she was pregnant so, she moved out again, I sat in her empty room crying for about a hour with the same thought in my head, our childhood is over forever. That's when i realized i never want to grow up, but i have no choice. What if this happens to my little sister when i move out? I live with her now but i never see her, i'm always with my boyfriend and I don't even notice she's growing up and that i'm doing exactly what my sister did to me, I don't want to leave her side.
            seeing how much my sister goes through to keep her tiny apartment and to keep her, her boyfriend and baby fed, only makes it harder to except the fact that someday i'm going to be the one struggling through life that's all anyone seems to do, Is struggle for money.

1 comment:

  1. I so understand this. However, would they not still be there later for you?

    ReplyDelete